3 Ways to Empower Students to Make Big Life Decisions
With A-level results coming out today, there’s immense pressure - not just on students but also their parents and educators who may be asked to help guide them to make life-impacting decisions. This pressure to get it right often leads to paralysis by analysis and makes it even harder to make a choice.
How can you ensure that these important decisions are made with confidence and clarity?
Having guided and coached many students through these types of decisions, here are three proven coaching and positive psychology tools to help teens navigate this crucial stage and empower them to make a decision, and avoid you feeling the need to influence them!
The Decision-Making Matrix
Quite simply, this involves making a list of all the key factors that come into play for helping to decide which university will be the best fit. For example, these might include:
Course - quality of teaching, interest of subject, style of learning etc.
Place - accommodation, city or campus, safety, social life, cost of living, proximity/ distance to home, friendliness of fellow students, extra-curricular activities, sporting opportunities etc.
Ask them to make a list of everything that matters to them, and not to overthink this part of the process. Anything that comes up in their minds is relevant. Only ask if they want you to offer more suggestions once they seem to have run out of ideas. It’s important that they express what is most important to them, however trivial or different to our thoughts, these factors may be.
Once the list is at around 10-15 items max, ask them to rate every factor on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being fantastic), and not to spend more than a few seconds considering each point. A quick gut reaction is perfect. If they need to research certain elements, eg. course info, leave that one out and go back to it once the rest is completed. As soon as all information is in the sheet, add up the totals and let them know the order of ranking.
As you tell them the top three, observe their reaction closely. It may be that the no.1 choice is not what they thought and that result then informs them that their heart is really aligned to a different choice, or this process confirms that their head and heart are aligned, and they breathe a sigh of relief. Aim to use this process to help them clarify how they feel, and feel reassured as they are using a balance of evidence with gut response so they have all the information needed to make a choice.
2. Strengths and Values Assessment
Understanding personal strengths and values can significantly impact decision-making. Tools like the VIA Character Strengths Survey (free on their website: https://www.viacharacter.org/), help to identify these attributes, enabling students to select paths that align with who they are.
Research by The Gallup Organisation found that individuals who work in roles aligned with their strengths are 6 times more likely to be engaged and 3 times more likely to experience high quality of life. It makes sense then that those students who understand and apply their strengths in choosing a career path are more likely to thrive and feel fulfilled.
This tool can also be powerful when used together with the Matrix above as it helps students to know that the course they are considering will be well suited to both their best abilities and their interests, so they have a strong chance of performing well in this subject area.
3. Visualisation Technique
This last method is the one I often resort to when a student feels paralysed by choice and overwhelmed by having to make a decision. This tends to be through being stuck in their head trying to analyse all the information at hand and knowing they have to make a decision but realising they will never feel 100% certain, and that can be very unsettling.
Visualisation involves imagining oneself in various future scenarios to gauge emotional responses. This technique helps students to connect with their choices on a deeper level and identify what truly resonates with them. The power of this exercise is that it takes them out of their heads and into their hearts.
A very simple version of this exercise would be to lead them through a visualisation where you ask them to close their eyes and imagine a day in each university they are considering. Refer to all the key elements involved, such as location, course, social life etc. so they can really imagine themselves going through a day there from beginning to end. A key question is what feels exciting about each option, or if they don’t experience positive emotions, then what might be challenging or concerning about this option.
The precise detail is not so important, but what is powerful is to notice how their energy shifts and what their body language tells you as they imagine themselves in each scenario. This may be easier for you to observe and notice, and then to ask them after imagining all the different scenarios, how they felt in each location. Once they have shared their thoughts, you could offer your observations and see how that resonates with them.
When students use visualisation to picture their future in different roles or universities, it becomes easier to clarify their feelings and make choices that align with their true desires.
Conclusion
Navigating the path to future decisions can be challenging, but using structured tools like those above can provide clarity and confidence. By applying these evidence-based methods, it becomes easier for students to make informed choices that align with their authentic selves and set them up for a fulfilling future. Empowering them to understand their options and their own strengths will therefore not only lead to more meaningful and successful outcomes in their personal and professional lives, but also to you being able to step back and support them in the process and not have to make their life choices for them!
I hope this helps. If you have any questions, send me a message. I also offer 1:1 coaching sessions for students who would like more bespoke support to help make key decisions, especially regarding big next steps or university and career choices.
