Help Your Child Navigate Pressure with Coaching Strategies
You may already be witnessing the signs. The demands of busy school life—academic pressures, social dynamics, and extracurricular activities—are starting to take their toll on your child. As a parent, you may wonder how to help them navigate this overwhelming phase with grace and confidence.
It’s vital not to underestimate the impact of stress on your child, nor the positive influence you can have. I’ve witnessed moments when stress became overwhelming—children shaking in exam halls, unable to think or write, experiencing panic attacks, or enduring 24 hours of stress-induced hiccups from work pressure.
These are just a few of the cases I encountered as a former housemistress and now as an education and wellbeing coach. Witnessing this impact firsthand, and feeling ill-equipped to help, motivated me to retrain and support students with knowledge and skill.
By preparing yourself to be a calming influence—a steady rock in stormy seas—you can equip your child to handle their pressures. Below are five coaching strategies and wellbeing methods to help your young teen manage stress, build resilience, and embrace a balanced life.
1. Shift Focus from Academics to Effort and Character
Academic pressure can be immense, often starting early. For some children, the greatest force comes from within, particularly if they have perfectionist tendencies and want to please you or their teachers.
Encourage your child to shift their focus from grades and rankings to effort and character development. Ask, “What would you like your teacher to say about you in your end-of-term report?” This question not only helps them articulate values like perseverance and curiosity but also teaches them that setting a conscious intention can influence their outcomes.
Throughout the term, celebrate small victories, reinforcing that effort is as important as results. By fostering a growth mindset, you empower your child to view themselves as learners on a journey rather than mere recipients of grades.
2. Incorporate Mindfulness and Sophrology Techniques
In our fast-paced world, equipping your child with mindfulness techniques is essential for effective stress management. Consider introducing them to Sophrology, a practice that combines mindfulness with visualisation, breathing exercises, and body awareness to promote relaxation and focus.
This technique is widely used across the continent and in Switzerland, helping individuals manage daily stresses. When I delivered sessions to boys in my boarding house, they reported benefits such as:
Reduced anxiety and stress
Better focus and concentration
Improved quality of sleep
While seeking a qualified sophrologist is ideal for significant effects, a simple yet effective practice you can encourage is to create a “Calm and Safe Place” in their minds. Start together by relaxing your breathing, closing your eyes, and inviting them to visualise their ideal calm environment, engaging all their senses to evoke feelings of peace. They can return to this safe space whenever they feel anxious, aiding in calming their minds and bodies.
3. Encourage a Healthy Work-Life Balance
With the pressures of busy school life, it’s crucial for your child to maintain balance between work and leisure. Encourage them to engage in activities that bring joy, creativity, and relaxation—whether drawing, journalling, or playing sports. Teach them the importance of taking breaks to recharge, reminding them that it’s perfectly okay to step back and breathe.
If they adopt a negative mindset, consider introducing them to the practice of gratitude. Although this may seem simplistic, perseverance can yield benefits, including increased motivation, resilience, and self-esteem.
One idea is to create a gratitude culture at the dinner table by asking each family member what they are grateful for that day. If the word “gratitude” elicits a negative response, simply ask what has gone well that day or share a funny or happy moment. This encourages appreciation for the small joys in life rather than waiting for grand events.
Encourage your child to keep a gratitude journal, especially before bedtime. This practice can shift their focus to the positive, helping them avoid replaying the less-than-ideal moments of their day and promoting better sleep. Ultimately, support them in exploring hobbies that spark their creativity and make them smile. Activities that are purely for fun, without competition or measurement, can provide a refreshing escape from daily pressures.
4. Embrace Failure as the Route to Resilience and Success
The more you practise what you preach, the more profound the lessons for your child.
While you may believe they hear your advice, they are closely observing your actions. How you deal with pressure and perceived “failure” is crucial in shaping their beliefs about handling similar situations.
Teach your child to view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. Engage them in conversations about their challenges, asking questions like, “What can you learn from this experience?” or “How might you approach it differently next time?” Sharing your own experiences of failure and the lessons learned can provide valuable perspective.
By hearing about your struggles and how you overcame them, they’ll understand that “failure” need not be feared. Instead, it can lead to growth and experimentation. Emphasize the importance of putting themselves out there, as it builds skills, confidence, and a stronger belief in their abilities.
Encourage them to reframe negative thoughts. Instead of saying, “I failed,” guide them to think, “I learned something valuable.” This mindset reinforces the idea that it’s not about avoiding difficulties but about how we respond to them.
Conclusion
As you embark on this journey together, remember that the goal is not to eliminate pressure but to provide your child with the skills and mindset to navigate it successfully. With your support, they can thrive in the busy world of school while maintaining their wellbeing and learning to grow in mind, body, and spirit.
See original article in The Prep School magazine here.