The Best Wellbeing in Schools: A Parents' Guide

Featured in The Prep School Magazine Edition 101

It seems not long ago that “grit” and “resilience” were the mots du jour, and that schools were focused keenly on ways to help their pupils cope better with the strong demands of academic rigour. However, the “W” word has now become more common vernacular for schools, as we all appreciate the importance of wellbeing when it comes to enhancing the overall state of mental, physical and emotional health. A happy and thriving child is always one who will be far more willing and able to perform at their highest level.

So, has wellbeing become a softer, more gentle approach to reach the same goals as grit and resilience, or is it achieving the more purposeful aim of creating a well-nurtured pupil who walks, lives and breathes the best version of themselves? And importantly, how do you identify a school that truly embodies great wellbeing?

For a clear vision of excellence in wellbeing, here are five key areas that are worth bearing in mind when choosing your child’s school at both prep and senior level:

1.     CORE VALUES

The cornerstone to all successful businesses and communities is the sense of shared goals and common values. So, how evident are the school’s values and do they align with your own? Is Kindness one of them? Whilst being the best school in the UK might be the grandiose aim of some, which ones are aspiring to be the kindest? And which one would you rather choose for your child?

If the pandemic and lockdown has taught us anything, it is that we now crave connection, compassion and creativity, as well as courage and kindness. No longer do we resort to determination and stoicism in order to just “push on through” hard times. Rather, we teach our children that these times are part of the rocky journey through life and that there is no destination at the end of the long tunnel that is nirvana. These parts of life are where we learn how to find happiness in the darkest of times: those moments of stillness, of presence, of appreciation of nature and beauty, and of connection with one another.

So, how to bring these values of virtue into a school? Actions are as powerful as words and the key lies in the detail: the calm, creative environment, the well-considered and balanced timetable and the integrity and inspiration of those who lead.

2.     AUTHENTIC ROLE-MODELS

With great power comes great responsibility and, whether it be principals, housemasters/ housemistresses or teachers and tutors; they each have the chance and privilege to inspire, to motivate, to encourage, to nurture and, above all, to provide a safe environment in which everyone can thrive and grow.

 ‘They don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.’        – Theodore Roosevelt.

The proof as to whether your child will be taught well is in the intangible elements: the human connection between teachers and pupils - the comfort and ease with which pupils can talk to staff and feel safe and secure. Is the learning environment one in which they are encouraged to “fail”, to experiment and to venture forwards? A safe environment is a fun, happy, energetic and highly productive one. It is at these moments, and when the endorphins are flowing, that pupils feel most creative and secure, and that they can grow, learn and flourish.

3.     CREATIVE AND PURPOSEFUL USE OF SPACE AND ENVIRONMENT

 The gold star experience for schools now is to have a wellbeing centre – a specific location where pupils can go to speak with someone when they seek help or to find a moment of stillness and privacy in a busy environment. One such example is Melbourne Girls Grammar where the school has built the Artemis Centre which contains a dedicated fitness hub and ‘Me Zones’ for small groups, as well as one-to-one coaching from five full-time wellbeing coaches. The school’s principal explained the purpose for designing the facility as stemming from research on health for girls which forecast the early onset of puberty, mental health issues and sedentary behaviours.

 Whether or not, your child’s school has such a purpose-built space, the key question to ask is - how does your child feel in their school environment? Are they excited and inspired in the classrooms and are they encouraged to relax, play and socialise both inside and outside?  Do the furnishings and artwork excite and motivate, or do they feel sterile and outdated? Having clear and distinct zones for work, relaxation, exercise and sleep is the key to creating a setting of balance and creativity and one that encourages purposeful activity as well as a sense of great flowing energy.

4.     AN INSPIRING AND DIVERSE WELLBEING PROGRAMME

The ideal wellbeing programme is innovative, contemporary and creative. It is also taught by staff who live and embody the values of wellbeing and who bring their own skills and training to the forefront.

A frequent and common element in a strong wellbeing programme is mindfulness, yet it is not a quick fix for all.  Therefore, it needs to be taught alongside other methods in order to provide pupils with a smorgasbord of mindful delights – thus enabling each individual to test and discover an exciting technique that empowers them to feel better.

Further examples of wellbeing methods that are proven to help with issues of anxiety, stress, poor sleep, anger management, lack of confidence, focus and motivation, include:

·       Meditation and breathing techniques

·       Yoga, Qigong and Tai Chi

·       Positive Psychology and NLP

·       Sophrology

·       EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique / Tapping

5.     EVERYDAY COACHING FOR ALL

‘To coach successfully, you have to adopt a far more optimistic view than usual of the dormant capability of all people – a coaching mindset... This mindset helps people to discover their self-belief.’  
- Sir John Whitmore, Performance Consultants International

Coaching is now seen as a vital tool to empower school leaders and teachers to be the best versions of themselves; in addition, some schools are explicitly using coaching to benefit their pupils. The effects are far-reaching, and the coaching route can easily be attained via staff who receive training in the most crucial of skills: the art of both purposeful questioning and effective listening.  

There is currently a movement amongst some forward-thinking schools, to employ wellbeing coaches to work alongside their school counsellors; the idea being that the work of the counsellor is more reactive, and trauma based, whilst the work of the wellbeing coach is more pre-emptive, and wellness focussed.  The concept that pupils can speak to a professional who is specialised in working with children and teenagers, and who can help him or her to make significant decisions and be empowered to cope with life’s daily demands, offers a welcome relief to parents seeking how best to encourage and support their child.

THE ULTIMATE VISION OF EXCELLENCE

Ultimately, we can look at Melbourne Girls Grammar as a striking example of excellence and integrity in wellbeing - it certainly provides a strong and compelling vision for all schools wishing to be at the forefront of great wellbeing practice. However, it is most definitely not in stunning facilities alone that true wellbeing lies; more so, it is in the kindness and care with which each member of the school community is treated. It is often said that all any child wants is to be listened to. So, I implore you to choose a school that gives time and space to its pupils – one that allows and actively encourages them to play, to listen, to create, to focus, to move, to pause, to understand, to be inspired, to be present and to feel genuinely happy to be themselves.

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